After Neal was born and fitted in his size six month t-shirt, he joined me in my hospital room. He was more beat up looking than my daughter had been, but I knew he would smooth out. I felt determined that this time around I would be calmer overall, and not too obsessed with every little thing that might indicate a problem with my child.
So when Neal started to look a little jaundice and the nurse told me to give him more to eat to wash it through, I did so without worrying. I took it with a smile when the first nurse (the formula freak) told me that I needed to push formula down my baby to flush out the jaundice. I took it with a smirk when the second nurse (the breast feeding Nazi), scolded me for having a bottle with formula in it and a pacifier next to Neal, and told me to breast feed more often. I had breast fed my daughter and knew that having a bottle or pacifier wouldn’t hurt anything. My daughter had also been jaundiced so I knew that it would pass, even if they needed to put Neal under the lights as they had Audrey.
Looking back now, I wonder if I was a little TOO relaxed. Jaundice can lead to deafness and problems with eye muscles - both of which Neal has. Although Neal did get over the yellow-tinted skin eventually, he never did have his bilirubin levels tested. I stayed in the hospital with him for two nights in order to have some time to rest before going home. I trusted that since the nurses and doctor never ordered the test, it meant that Neal’s color seemed within the “normal” range of jaundice. However, to this day I see pictures of how yellow-orange Neal looked and second guess myself and them. This will turn out to be one of the first “what ifs” in a long list that I have to contend with regarding Neal.
Showing posts with label Neal down. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Neal down. Show all posts
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Neal, down: An Introduction
I guess I should have known from the start that things were going to be different with this kid. He did give us a sign after all. After being induced for labor, Neal came out fairly quickly. As he was being delivered there was mention that he was large, and his shoulders got stuck for a few seconds (he ended up being 10 pounds 6 ounces and having to wear a t-shirt for 6 month olds in the nursery), but I was good at pushing and he soon made his way out. As I looked down past my sheet covered legs at the doctor who held my new baby boy, I heard, "Oh," and then, "He just pooped on my foot."
I couldn't help but giggle a little on the inside. Little did I know though that Neal's introduction into the world could be taken as a theme of things to come, and that having a sense of humor about it would be necessary at times. Yes, I loved him then, and yes, I love him now, but that little guy has taken a lot of moments in life that should be joyful and found a way to poop on them. He's taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. He's opened my eyes to parts of the world and life that I didn't know existed. He's made my heart hurt and my head spin. He's made me proud beyond belief and sad beyond comparison. One thing after another I have gone through with him, and what I've been left with is a curious, energetic, handsome, intelligent little boy, who also happens to be profoundly deaf and have ADHD and OCD. He is a boy who has pooped on a lot of feet in his 9 years of life, but who is loved by all who truly get to know him and admired by all who realize what he works through every day of his life.
These days my son has bilateral cochlear implants. He relies on them to access the sounds of our world, and they have made it possible for him to have speech and language on level with his peers. He also takes medication for his impulsiveness and his obsessions/compulsions. His medicine makes it possible for him to continue his education where he belongs academically (with other kids his age instead of having to be placed in a class for kids with behavior issues). I'm sure there are both proponents and opponents to these choices, but to each his/her own. This is what has worked for us. My kid runs on batteries and pills. It's not what I signed up for; it's not what I would have ordered if given a choice; but it's life, and it's working so far.
I couldn't help but giggle a little on the inside. Little did I know though that Neal's introduction into the world could be taken as a theme of things to come, and that having a sense of humor about it would be necessary at times. Yes, I loved him then, and yes, I love him now, but that little guy has taken a lot of moments in life that should be joyful and found a way to poop on them. He's taught me things I didn't know I needed to learn. He's opened my eyes to parts of the world and life that I didn't know existed. He's made my heart hurt and my head spin. He's made me proud beyond belief and sad beyond comparison. One thing after another I have gone through with him, and what I've been left with is a curious, energetic, handsome, intelligent little boy, who also happens to be profoundly deaf and have ADHD and OCD. He is a boy who has pooped on a lot of feet in his 9 years of life, but who is loved by all who truly get to know him and admired by all who realize what he works through every day of his life.
These days my son has bilateral cochlear implants. He relies on them to access the sounds of our world, and they have made it possible for him to have speech and language on level with his peers. He also takes medication for his impulsiveness and his obsessions/compulsions. His medicine makes it possible for him to continue his education where he belongs academically (with other kids his age instead of having to be placed in a class for kids with behavior issues). I'm sure there are both proponents and opponents to these choices, but to each his/her own. This is what has worked for us. My kid runs on batteries and pills. It's not what I signed up for; it's not what I would have ordered if given a choice; but it's life, and it's working so far.
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